Sofia Almeida
It is often denied by solo travelers, but it exists and it’s varied. Some travelers thrive in solitude for years and then suddenly find themselves exhausted by it. Others realize their whole time was drained and fatigued and they can’t quite understand why they had been tricked into thinking that solo travel was for them. Here’s what it costs, how to reduce it and whether or not solo travel suits you.
The compound cost of solitude
I see loneliness as something that slowly compounds over time, with weeks piling up in ways that hidden single days don’t. I often see that the first week alone on the road is fine, third week is slightly harder, and the sixth week of solo travel either you find your rhythm or you quit. And then there is the way that the loneliness manifests. Early on, it might manifest as increased fatigue, a drop in energy levels, or as an increase in the amount of time you spend alone, staring at a screen. You might even note a slight flating of your affect, or as it were, your “mood.” This aspect of prolonged solitude seems to surprise most travelers more than any other. In practice, I see that prolonged periods of solitude actually have a number of physical negative effects that tend to compound as well. For one, sleep seems to get worse. Motivation falls. And minor illnesses somehow linger for longer than they might otherwise. These are the kinds of “negative effects” that most guidebooks never actually discuss, because they lie outside of the author’s personal experiences. But I see them all the time. And that is why, in the end, I so strongly advise that you plan ahead.
What reduces it reliably
There are a few practices that can go a long way to decreasing the loneliness of solo travel for almost everyone. The first is to stay in fewer locations for longer periods of time. The peak time for solo travel loneliness is during transit days, i.e., the days spent traveling between locations, and the night of arrival in a new location. Thus, after getting settled in a location, it is best to stay there for as long as possible, which usually turns out to be at least a week or two. The second practice is to create a daily routine, i.e., to do the same things every day, such as going to the same coffee shop, going for the same walk, or going to the gym. A routine is essentially a framework, and that is what solo travelers need. The third practice is to join one group activity or club per week, such as a language exchange, a hiking group, a yoga class, or even a religious service. The social contact does not have to be extensive to be valuable.
Hostels are not always the answer
To whether or not to stay in hostels is a bit of a paradox. On the one hand, to stay in hostels is generally recommended to solo travelers in order to meet other travelers and therefore counteract loneliness. However, on the other hand, the majority of travelers who stay in hostels are alone in their rooms and meet other travelers in the common areas. Most of the time, though, in the common areas of hostels, the people that solo travelers meet are other travelers as well, but who are traveling alone as well. Therefore, the vast majority of the time, the social interaction of solo travelers in hostels consists of meeting other travelers and then parting ways with them in a few days. As a result, in the vast majority of cases, the social interaction in hostels do not lead to any lasting relationships. The other thing to take into account is that for many people, in order to meet other people in hostels, they have to go to the hostel bar and engage in drinking with other people in order to get to know them. This, in turn, means that in order to counteract loneliness, many solo travelers are forced into a situation in which, after a few days, they are not anymore and therefore have to leave the hostel in order to find new people to drink with in order to counteract their loneliness. And this, in turn, leads to the very same situation that the solo traveler was trying to avoid in the first place. That being said, for solo travelers who are extremely lonely, staying in a hostel private room with access to common areas might be a better option than staying in a hostel dorm room. But, in the end, even in that case, it is not a guarantee that the situation will be any better. When I talked to a local guide about this, he said that yes, it does work, but it does not work for everyone.
Working remotely changes the math
For the remote worker, a number of factors come into play that can amplify feelings of loneliness. First, the structured hours that remote workers typically keep can provide a sense of normalcy and regular contact with colleagues and clients. But once the workday is over, the remote worker may find that they are less engaged in the trip’s activities, and instead spend their free time solo. As a result, many remote workers find that the social opportunities of coworking spaces are a particularly powerful draw – and can make or break a location for long solo travel. I’ve found that a few cities with particularly robust coworking scenes – Bali, Lisbon, Mexico City, and Bangkok – are generally friendly to solo travelers working remotely.
When solo travel is not for you
Some people just aren’t cut out for solo travel, and that’s okay. Rather than forcing yourself to continue on a draining solo trip, it’s better to cut your losses after 4-6 weeks and realize that you’re just not that type of traveler. But don’t write off solo travel entirely! Consider taking a 5-10 day solo trip instead, or doing a section of a longer trip solo and then meeting up with a traveling partner for the rest of it. You don’t have to do solo travel to have a great trip – just find what works for you.
What I would tell a first-time solo traveler
Go with fewer photos and more journal pages — after solo travel the best things you find are things you can remember, not things you took photos of. Plan to do less than you think you can handle — on a first solo trip a 14 day trip to 2 places with a day of buffer in between each is a lot easier to manage than a 14 day trip to 5 places. Remember after you have settled in, staying longer in fewer places is the way to establish relationships and to set up small routines that can follow you all through a trip. These are the thing that most solo travelers will remember of their best trips.
